HPC Forum Member Writes To The Bank Of England Demanding Change

If you find a hair in your soup, you write a degrading letter, cursing out the chef and their mum. At the end of it, you may even get invited back to the same ol’ shitty restaurant for a free meal (smeared with their very own special sauce, of course).

Unfortunately, achieving the same level of success – with a snotty letter sent by an absolute nobody – when you have a problem with the Bank Of England probably won’t move the needle.

Here’s a letter that was written by a HPC member to the Bank Of England. It’s pretty astonishing that some people must literally have nothing else to do:

waitingfor hpc (HPC member) wrote:

“Incompetence of the heighest level” *cough*

The Response:

Hello

Thank you for your enquiry.

I would emphasise that the purpose of the scheme is to help improve the liquidity position of the banking system and raise confidence in financial markets while ensuring that the risk of losses on the loans they have made remains entirely with the banks. The whole focus is on underpinning the liquidity of the UK banking system. Financial markets are not working normally and without action, there is a risk that this will have an impact on the wider economy.
It is not a bail-out in any sense and it’s misleading to describe it as such.
As you may recognise from the details of the facility – we are swapping assets with the banks of equivalent value – with margins applied by the Bank. This is about the liquidity of assets, not their soundness.

Our announcement may be seen in full over here (page on the Bank of England website has since been removed).

Yours sincerely
Malcolm Shemmonds

You can read the whole debacle right here.

Needless to say, a few of the members applauded, lapped it up and joined the revolution by sending in additional letters. I’m sure they’ll eventually make an impact! No, really!

A couple of the other HPC members, well, they pointed and laughed at the spelling mistakes. I’m not a grammar-Nazi myself, I make mistakes all-fucking-day long. But hey, I would even have the courtesy of using Microsoft Word when lodging an official complaint, you know, just to give it some level of credence, otherwise you could end up looking like a dumb-ass.

Perhaps the monkey the BoE employs to respond to the abundance of emails they presumably get on a regular basis will eventually give a shit. But on this very sad occasion, this is honestly how I think the conversation went at HQ. What do you think?